


Transience

by dusktin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Major injuries, POV Third Person Omniscient, Slow Build, Thug!Mikasa, im dying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-23 12:03:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13189692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dusktin/pseuds/dusktin
Summary: Mikasa and Levi have been forged together and the world doesn't stop for them to realize it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo Thug Mikasa. I didnt like the ending of the chapter and its like 2 AM so I will probably edit it. Apologies for prob a lot of errors I just wanted to contribute something for the tag bc I like the couple...

Mikasa Ackerman had been by herself for as long as she could remember.

The lonely existence she was living was hers, a foreign encumbrance wrapped to her neck. Claimed by birthright, a twined cloth on her right forearm, beneath the crest of her wrists where her spidery veins were strewn out that had a sigil of no genesis. A knife lodged into the depths of her hand, her heart as well as her head, nowhere to be found.

Solely she knew her name and that her dress and a pastelled pink cardigan had been ruined with smearing and oxidized blood. Was it an animal's or a human’s? Well, it didn't matter, there was too much on her for it to have sustained its life.

The weapon in her hand, its wooden handle leaving wedged in splinters in her fingers to the flesh of her palm.

No memories, no family, or a home to return to. Forlorn and sleepless she had been on her own two foot for far too long. The world had been slicing her open, prodding at her insides as if a specimen magnified by a spyglass.

To her it was unbearable and she had tripped over her feet and tumbled ungracefully from the precipice of humankind, into the underground world and hadn't went back since. There wasn't anything on the surface for her, nothing.

It was frightfully frigid when being alone against the bleakness of realism. The world was still quite cruel to a young girl.

Nights spent in alleyways, huddling to dumpster fires and days scourging through discarded things were her daily life in the beginning. As if she were a rabid animal, non-human, and unsavory people treated her as such. At odd parts in her lifespan, even she felt like a animal, how she mauled people that had tried to harm her, even at a youth. Lashed out as if she were a trapped prey and slaughtered those predators.

It didn't bother her much, although not much did.

She had conditioned herself to conceal her shortcomings.

Blood didn't make her flinch, bones snapping at creaking joints that weren't as bad to a certain and sudden death. A corpse couldn't do much after it's premininet demise. It was an easeful limitation, and Mikasa for the most part pretended she was disposing mere beasts when confronted with her foes.

The Underground City was a ruthless, unyielding environment to those who couldn't adapt quickly enough.

She was an little orphan that had to fend for herself. A runt withstanding the planet’s brutishness.

Within a months time, she was self-taught to the resourcefulness of her surroundings, whetting weaponry with rocks to threaten people for money or anything on them. Sometimes if she had been desperate enough, too hungry and too diminished to fight back she would steal from shops for stale bread and water. The few necessities for her, that she had stockpiled.

It's what she had to do when she was younger. She was vestigial, which was what consoled her from the wrong doings she had consummated in.

Mikasa was baring her teeth, shredding with her claws and devouring her victims in her maw.

When reaching the age of a reckless teenager, she was deemed fittable for underground fighting, a sport that they played—gambled for money from the death of their participants. Mikasa didn't think that there were age requirements to be let in.

Still it would be her income in the upcoming years she had decided as she lied about her age to get in. False documents were rudimentary to get, different from food or currency.

No one had was to acknowledge a kid that could wield weapons infinitely superior than an adult, murder without so much of any grief of mind. For the majority of those years, she had been evaded for that. Though she was grateful that they knew she had no hesitation, no one gave her much of a dilemma upon meeting her.

Mikasa supposed even the most abhorrent of establishments had guidelines that couldn't be trampled on. Guidelines that prohibited heinous depictions of crime, although the people down here were deaf to those laid out rules.

It was a necessary thing to stay alive in these settings. There wasn't much to it. Survive to be stronger to defeat the weaker, to eat to see another sunrise, to fight for a tomorrow. The strongest lorded from humans.

She knew that the world above would have never taken her in. With how she was now, it was impossible.

After another year escaped from her, and she found that she had begun to prefer the solitude. Being alone meant no attachments, no disregards of oneself. No weaknesses, a afterthought that reassured Mikasa many times before.

In her battles she was merciless, austere.

What could be considered as mercy would be the end of the match.

She was blurring motions. A force that defied quantum logic, to be reckoned with and her opponents quelled and were obliterated beneath her. Mikasa was a maelstrom that spared nothing in her path, tempest eyes the last thing many saw.

Death would always be by her.

As a result she would be betted on and always brought in money and she would take most of the profit. It was sustainable to an extent, whether she had any say in it.

So it was natural that she had a run in with the infamous thug of the Underground City.

Levi was a one man show, operating on his own and to his unknown agendas. Pure brutalism was exhibited from him that the saner people steered far from. She could respect that, invoking that into people took building up a reputable prestige and she had been doing it for a while.

Mikasa knew that she had been gaining traction among the public, though she was unsure if it could be good news from the amount of attraction. Though that was how Levi had discovered her after all.

The man had appeared one day after she taken down a uprising underdog that had been too sloppy with his moves and that had been his downfall. His body had been carted away, as Mikasa glanced up from her reddening and raw fists.

A hush quieted the crowd, as smothering as a quilt stilting their breathes over their faces as the man came through. The man could part rows of armies with his everlasting scowls and from a distance Mikasa could tell how much of a threat he was, if she were ever to face him. A reluctance thrummed in her intestines, knotting them up.

Mikasa never gotten to see him, had caught gossip of him through the networking of convicts, but never seen him.

His appearance was a fake mirroring of her, eyes as metallic as gunmetal bullets and skin too pallid to be healthy. Although that could be from him being kept dormant, hidden from the sun for so long.

There was a uncanniness in his eyes that she couldn't identify. Before she could ponder on it further, it had disintegrated as he strolled up to her.

“So you're the ruckus that everyone is chatting about,” his voice goes over her in incremental waves, tossing her into a crevice of an abyss. Still she greeted his gaze with no fear, steadily.

Even the most egregious and contemptible individuals were rightfully cowed by her. Her eyes could sever the souls of men before her knife took their lives.

“What if I am?” It's rhetorical and Levi weighs his predicted outcomes.

He tilts his head at her bladed weapon. “I heard about your so-called strength and I was curious about it. Hearing how there was a female me was enough.” His pupils were contracted, the ring of color swallowed by the darkness. “Fight me and prove to me that you aren't a brat on a lucky streak.”

Mikasa was thoroughly intrigued while also insulted at his words in a sort of an enigma. The man before her didn't go seeking out trouble like she did, it always got to him one way or another. She reasoned to herself: What was one more fight, she was still upped on her adrenaline high and had yet to come down. Mikasa could make him eat his words that he had haphazardly touted at her. It would tarnish his polished and perfected record and that would be a feat Mikasa would gleefully accomplish.

Her pocket knife still had coppery blood on it, a corroded on rufous but she grabs on to it. It was her trustee knife, the blade hadn't yet chipped off yet from all her fights, the one she had for all these years. Though the cutlass had lessened in its sheen and was partially broken she wouldn't throw it away if it broke fully. Even if it did, she didn't think she could discard it. It was more of a sentimental possession than a object, it has been through as much as she had and it could still prevail.

“What do I get in exchange?” There would forever be a promised prize each of her fights and she expected another at the end of this one as well. Levi seemed to mull over her inquisition.

His eyes shimmered dangerously in the hued lights. It reflected onto Mikasa, her intellectual and instincts both telling her to go. She didn't heed them.

“Freedom.” It was a meal that they were craving—starving for, their appetites too large for the world they lived in to accommodate. Mikasa was no better. Despite it being facile for her to survive under the living, she missed the sultry breezes from the sun, the vivaciousness of greenery in the region and above all the open-ended sky where everything had its liberties.

Could she be as free as the birds that roamed in the sky?

“And losing?”

“Same offer stands.”

What a strange man. Mikasa nonetheless thought it over.

The crowd had bloated in mass, the people talking amongst themselves. More bets were being raised, wads of cash being passed to one another. Word had been spreaded throughout the city faster than she could have imagined. It could be due to it being him. Thug Levi vs Fighter Mikasa, she entertained to herself.

Yet Mikasa was authentically taken aback and a smidge puzzled. To his broad offer and to her thinking of leaving one day. Frequently, she had been tempted by it but there were so many things that came with it. Precautions had to be taken, that she couldn't afford. The Underground was the only home she had come to know, and begrudgingly relied on.

The glint in his eyes held no ill-lies and Mikasa perceived that if she won one over him it would be good sequentially and gain her more success.

“I accept.” From her agreement Levi nodded. Scrupulously, he began to roll his sleeves up as if he planned on washing dishes. Mikasa ran her blade against her pants leg to clean the ruddiness off the steel.

A resoluteness draped over her as she got into her classic pose.

Sweeping her dominant leg out and having her knife at a horizontal line. Levi was calculating, his gaze puncturing into her and she took advantage of the first move. He could watch his own defeat then, before he could access the situation.

There was a foot or two of an orbit between them but she knew she had longer legs, no matter how many inches his footwear had, it couldn't compensate for the inches of height he didn't have.

Mikasa was a rash thinker while fighting, altering her trajectory. She rushed at him, whipping the knife upwards at an slight angle to slice at the pulpy meat below the neck, by the column of the windpipe. Human anatomy was a mundane thing from textbook information, learned by ditched books she had.

Her knife was to an acute angle to where it would deliver a fatal quietus. It was common law to know that in knife fights, the most effective method to kill and utilize a knife properly. Mikasa had taken to the law religiously.

Despite her knowledge of anatomy and winnings, Levi had more years on her. Previous experience that he had gotten from a rather unorthodox process.

Levi had seen it coming and had given her time to be more inventive and original. Seeing that she hadn't, he side-stepped, sending her careening as he took her legs out from her in a arc of a gracious kick. The grapple onto her knife had loosened and she intended to drag him down with her. While she was falling, Mikasa had manipulated her body that made her come into contact with him. Her hand caught him by the leg, latching on. She hooked both arms onto it and could see the astonishment flit through his eyes.

Her rapid pacing of her bloodstream thumped through the hollow of her ears. There was a primitive buzz that transversed through her when going up against a fighter that was putting up an legitimate fight.

Using the propulsion of the plunge, she put her full weight against him and felt him stumble backwards.

When he was on his back from the gravity of it, Mikasa was letting go of his leg. Then he pushed his legs up on the intent of getting her off but she had propelled herself up and off, crowd hollering debauched, as she made a messy landing. Her knife… her eyes searched for it as she got near to the down man. It could be under him. The dust plumed, obscuring her vision as it dispersed.

“You got my clothes dirty,” he said, disdained at the muddled dirtiness that was planted on his ironed shirt and vest.

He was transfixed onto her as he got up and Mikasa could tell something had changed. A seriousness had overtaken him that made her spinal cord tingle.

There was a whirl of animation and he was behind her abruptly. Her knife seized her throat, sweat beading onto it from her exertions. Their audience was a background, them in the foreground, an muted ambience between them as both their breathing thundered.

A jolt of energy that she couldn't fathom how she could have gotten, bursted through her tendons and muscles, into the marrow of her very bones. Her hands were balled into the fabric of her pants.

“You haven't won yet.” Mikasa threw her head backwards and heard him groan and his grip on her knife slacken to where she bounded from him. The indentation of the dagger on her neck hadn't nicked her though she put a hand over it, thumbing at her skin for a brief second.

First blood had been drawn by her.

His nose was bleeding, spurts of it sullying his skin and clothing and he cursed lowly to where no one heard. Aggrieved he had hurtled the dagger somewhere to the ground. It disappeared under a sea of shoes and legs and Mikasa didn't have time to lament at the lost.

His hands were spread out in a universal signature to brawl. “New rule: we don't use any weapons. I don't want to get any more soiled than this.”

It hadn’t occurred to Mikasa that he could be preventing his premature ruination. Mikasa was still giddy that she managed to injure him. He was indestructible and in doing that action wasn't a stroke of luck as he had previously had discerned.

He had felt the blood rather than seeing it. Levi wiped it with the back of his hand, a streaking brilliance to his face. He seemed disgusted from the hassle of it.

She had agreed to it and they circled one another, as the jeers and exclamations pounded around them, a intemperated atmosphere oppressive on them. Mikasa went to kick his feet out from under him as he had did to her, the humiliation still in her brain at the minuscule mistake she made.

His speed was unprecedented with his cunning clout, she had seen how he had gotten her knife and held it to her throat, to the thrum of her veins. Without her noticing. She'd have to be judicious.

That was her second mistake.

Seeing that she was overthinking and not improvising, Levi had feinted to the side to which she went to it accordingly. There was thin space before her and she realized his trap too late as she was put to the ground, and all her energy and confidence had begun to wane. Mikasa had gotten too far ahead of her herself to analyze Levi’s motives further.

Pinning her arms behind her back, his exhales labored. He had her boxed in, her heart jumping erratically like a wounded rabbit in her chest. It was Levi that held her life in his hands.

The mob was uproarious, as she tried to think of her escape and how to implement it but she could tell that Levi had made her play in his hand from the start. Had it all been futile for her?

“Oi did I knock you out?” The timbre of his voice was jarringly loud and she was annoyed with the entire predicament. Pride sabotaged, she settled herself.

“I yield.” She gritted her teeth when saying it, the words hissing through the gaps of her teeth. Mikasa had no chance of winning, not against him. Levi was just too overpowering, too fast for her. She had sorely overestimated him.

Mikasa had failed badly, she was no longer the victor. As swiftly as the match had been finished, she had been toppled from her pedestal.

When he let go and she brushed herself off as the crowd began to dispel to get to the next chaotic havoc they could get their pleasure out of. It was the two of them now, two strangers brought together by unanticipated circumstances. Mikasa scoured the streetsides to the gutters slotted into the cement before eyeing onto the other’s unmoving face.

“You owe me a new knife.” Mikasa glared as the man had swiped at his nose with a handkerchief he had produced from his pockets. Scoffing, he whipped out a knife and threw it to her. She caught it and glanced downward. It was a modest pocket knife and flipping it out she saw her own reflection in it.

It wasn't the cheaper one she had before.

A glossy smoulder from the overhead lamps shone from it and she could tell it had been used many times from the incisions of the pocketblade despite its clean shaven state. Unlike her knife from before, it could be pieced together that she could fit in her clothing. The old one had been hinged wide open from disrepair and the abuse it had taken.

“Come on.” He walked a ways from her. She held her tongue so she wouldn't say something too foolhardy and followed him.

+

Mikasa had gathered her things together as Levi had told her.

As she stepped over the threshold, her patched-up bag of miscellaneous belongings were sat on a gnarled table. It wasn't much but she had no desire for materialistic things. His complex was located on the opposite side where she usually was, nestled in the larger and more prospective parts of the town. She connected the dots to why she hadn't seen him before.

Levi’s home was much more bigger than the compartments of inns she had been staying in. Mikasa had to be on the move and had rented out an adequate living space for her next events.

His housing was rather homey, somewhat shocking her. A fireplace was camouflaged out of sight, that was conjoined into a kitchen. Water was boiling on the stove, the burbling sounds being a nice lullaby in the quietude. There was a living room that was ornate with century worn down furniture and bits and bobs of embellishments.

Contrasting the places she had been, the home was spotless, immaculate with the smell of...detergent?

Clean to a frightful degree of asepsis.

“You sure are a clean freak,” she muttered to herself as he was stuffing a tissue up into his nose. In one of the wooden chairs, he reclined as he took in her visage.

Mikasa indeed was grimy, fresh from their fight as she had skimped out on a shower. Levi was glad that he couldn't smell her.

“No you're just dirty,” his voice was nasally as he plugged his nose to decrease the blood flow.

A flushing of embarrassment rose through her when being heard but she squashed it with the aggravation she gotten from the man. “How long has it been since you took a shower? Do you even know what soap is? So dirty.”

She felt the sharpness of annoyance cut through her again as if he had stabbed her. Though she was becoming more aware that she associated it with the shorter man. Showers she took if there was water that could be spared from her expenses. Everything was manual and making the water to scalding was taxing, sacrifices she had to make. “Not everyone can live in luxury. Living here doesn't require smelling like a bouquet of roses.”

Levi was plucking at his shirt, a washcloth in his fingers. “Yes but if you're under my roof than you damn well better smell like a proper human than shit on a shoe.”

A infernal expression clouded over Mikasa.

Freedom with Levi was becoming more and more of a distant whim. She was insulted—again— and overly agitated and strode to reach over to the table. She'd punch his nose in, to where it would shatter but that was when her fist was stopped. Unclenching it to her side, she studied him. Squinted her eyes at him.

“Live with you? Why?” The man threw the tissue in the litter basket, sniffing through his nostrils harshly.

“If we want freedom then we have to work together. Normally I wouldn't have a partner but this—” he gestures to his nose that had dried of blood to his curling upper lip. “Proves to me that you're worthy.”

“If I refuse?” Mikasa wasn't blatantly toying with him and she hadn't seen the telltale tilt of a smirk was on his lips. Not quite there, a phantom of it.

“I won. Don't argue with me.”

And that was that. She couldn't argue because what was there to argue on? The dented tea kettle on the stove gave a shrilling shriek, whistling steam through the air as Levi went to tend to it. There were the clinking and clanks of Levi rummaging as Mikasa hadn't sit down. The sweat from the fight stuck to her clothing, an uncomfortable sensation.

Mikasa peered into the teacup that was placed in front of her. The china porcelain had translucent scratches on it, though she could tell it was created from fine craftsmanship. A fading royal blue, dinged up but the steamy billows from the tea gave her a lot of warmth. The tar-like pigmentation was unappealing but the aroma from the beverage welcomed her better that Levi could ever attempt.

“Mikasa…” he was already taking a sip of the tea, not waiting for it to cool over. Mikasa blinked, that was the first time he had used her name.

Although she hadn't called him by his name yet. In a anomalous manner, the way he held his cup not even using the handle she zoned in on. He pointed over in the hallway, to a door. “Go take a shower. You stink.” He did too but that wasn't his point.

Swinging her bag over her shoulder she casted him a wayward glance. “If it'll make you quit your harping, fine...Levi.” The name was befitting and when saying it, she couldn't deviate from the simplicity of it. Or the simplicity of him.

Her tea had been left undrinked and Levi poured it down the sink, scowling at the waste. The liquid bubbled then sank into the drain as he rinsed off the blackness off the whitened silverware.

The truth is Mikasa had interested him, as plain as that. Having someone to split the workload wouldn't be that bad. Plus someone would have his back, which could be helpful to his paranoia of distrustment.

Levi denied that it wasn't from the prolonged loneliness that was carving into him.

If only she wasn't such a gloomy brat.

+

Life with Levi was considerably easier to live in.

Didn't have to worry when her next meal or scrap battle was. Levi stored a lot than it should be acceptable for one person, as if he were a forager. He had cartons upon cartons of tea.

They both ate too much, could deplete their food in an instant. Levi scolded her for eating piggishly and she in turn said that midgets don't get a say in it. His height was a subject that she took many jabs at, much to Levi’s chagrin.

Unbeknownst to them, vexation had soon dwindled to a mutual understanding and Mikasa found Levi tolerable to be around. Then again they had to be as they became housemates.

Security was always with Levi and Mikasa found herself untouchable with him, she guessed it was a perk with being in relations to Levi.

They became a unbridled duo, evading police and taking on odd jobs, their paychecks doubling. Mikasa had been struggling all her life and her body had been overwhelmed by it all and she hadn't been apt to it until she sparred with Levi the toil her body making her to be lax, surmounting in flexibility.

He educated her, bettered her as they coexisted with one another.

Levi had been closedown, boarded off like an decaying house collapsing in on itself. Until she began to pry into him on colder more solemn days when the nights had become lengthy and shadowed. Tearing down his walls, Mikasa pestered him. It was then when he told her of his sad tale.

“My mom was a prostitute and I was her illegitimate child.” He had spoken, his speech muddled, his lips wrapped on the coiled mouth of a umber bottle, looking down at the pit bottom of it. His words were glassy as his eyes, unstable. Mikasa knew that it wouldn't reduce him to tears though. Levi was too headstrong for that. Or so she thought.

Swimmingly, he had recalled that his mother provided the utmost best she could, offered undying love for him despite that his biological father was another man that had screwed her over and knocked her up. His whore of a mother that he had cherished his whole life in his upbringing to her untimely ending that transitioned to the man that took him in and made him survive. He had been in the room she had passed in until that man had come upon him and Mikasa couldn't digest the imagery that he had gifted her with.

He too had left him and Levi was alone though for unforeseen events he couldn't explain himself or ever have a semblance of. Levi would never have his answers he had assumed when starting on another bottle that Mikasa had then wrenched from him and instead pushed his tea to him.

In that moment, it was one of the firsts that she seen him so unguarded, leeched of his absolute strength.

His tea had been swapped for alcohol when she wasn't paying mind to him, the rancid scent heavyweight and toiling in his mouth. The teacup was abandoned so that he could forgot himself, but he couldn't forget his memories. He seemed too tired that not even sleep couldn't repair him, couldn't relieve him of his ordeals.

Terrors had riddled him and struck him where he was the most defenseless, they had been for a while. She knew that he had been having them almost every waking moment. Some nights she saw him still at the table by a melting candle that's flame was to extinguished by the wax, eyes haunted and unseeing.

To get repose for him or herself in those eternal evenings, she had begun to talk about her past, where she had been above ground. Tried to think of her past but she couldn't remember, blotting momentos that she couldn't tell from fiction.

Either it was too traumatic or her mind was a blank slate. Mikasa couldn't account for her past that made Levi raise his eyebrows at her.

“Amnesia huh…” it was said on a exalted exhale. Then he had slept afterwards, bottle still in his grasps that would lead to an inevitable hangover in the morning that would befall him.

Mikasa tucked him in, he was in dire need of the one thing that eluded him. For however long he needed, the world could wait. The man would be torturing himself if he so much as functioned the next day. Eventually he had drifted into his slumber though his unfriendly countenance hadn't budged. It was the most restful time she had seen him.

Their sadden histories bonded them together, made them stronger that the melancholy of the past had furthered them into survival.

When Farlan Church had persuaded them for him to join them, they had accepted him in to where he had left his gang. Still it took coaxing for Levi to lower the knife from his gullet after Mikasa realized that they had been set-up when killing those men.

Levi had not been too pleased from that.

If he had guts to try that on them then he was fit to come with them. Meant he didn't fear a death that was approaching, and he could act on desperation as they all had before. With him added, Farlan alleviated the most solemn of moods, a jokester and child at the core. He was also their informant, smuggling information to Levi and Mikasa as they were poor in interactions with regular people.

With his assistance, they had snagged those fancy gear that the police traipsed on. Military Police mocked them, getting off with their pronounced superiority.  
Yet they had blackmail material say they couldn't tattle as they would get reprimanded, severely. Mikasa had surmised them to drunken idiots that neglected their jobs.

It had taken a while to get it but they had been quick to use it. Mikasa and Levi were born prodigies at it, their limbs airless when rotating through the domed sky that Farlan voiced his envy with how readily they made it seemed. It made things uncomplicated to complete and it was a provocation of playing a game of cat and mouse to the police that was now in reversed roles.

The pair had turned to a trio and then another would join them.

A misguided thief but a newfound friend.

+

Ordinarily Mikasa wouldn't be on the prowl for teas.

Levi had complained of his tea supplies running out and Mikasa had snatched a bargain of high-brand tea leaves of many variations that hadn't been molded over. He was quite particular on it, and Mikasa didn't want to go back to refund it. When she popped the tin lid up and smelt the rustic aromatics, it had solidified her purchase. At the rare merchandise, she put it in her florid and wooly outerwear. Unlike Levi, it was ailing to drink everyday for her.

As she walked herself home she overheard a bustle though it was a trivial incidence where she lived. A female voice shouted to leave her alone, the pouncing footfalls nearing her.

Mikasa was jostled when the girl rammed into her. The knife Levi had given her, she seeked out with her fingers, through the fabric of her pleated skirt from the sewn in pocket she had made. She held it in the center of her hand as she turned her head to the girl.

“Miss, please you gotta help me—” her brows furrowed in cognition. “You're Mikasa! You're with Levi! Boy am I lucky that I ran into you.” The girl had her arms to herself and it was clear that she had taken something.

Thievery was a shameful thing to do. Thieves were the lowest, Mikasa and everyone who lived there had been there but there was a distinction between her.

Before Mikasa could object, three men had them against a wall. At their bulking and burly hands on her, she revealed her weaponry, the tip thrusted out straight to where the tip was to an eyeball. She could cause major ocular trauma if she had to and the man besought her before letting them go.

The girl mocked them behind her much to their enmity.

“Walk away and I pretend this never happened.” Mikasa ordered.

The men hightailed it and the other let out a puff of a breath. Her back slide down the alleyway, her arms untangling from her. Mikasa had a premonition that this would resurface later.

Mikasa took a check over the tins that were still intact as she bent over the girl. The teas hadn't been damaged and Levi wouldn't throw his tantrums.

“What did you steal?” Mikasa asked and the girl already knew she could put faith into her rescuer. A bird perched in her palms, chirping its song at them. Mikasa petted it's downy feathers with her fingertips as it trilled.

“This wee guy must have gotten here through a ben and been down here. He wants to see the sky...and I do too.”

With that, she had made up her mind knowing that the three men would come back for the girl without her around. She couldn't protect her then. She wasn't a petty thief and she still had a wholesome heart, the evidence prancing in her hands. She was different.

Taking her by the shoulder, she walked her up the discrepant mortar steps to their porch.

As she entered, Levi and Farlan inspected the new girl with varying viewpoints of interest.

“She lives with us now.”

Levi stared at her before going back to sipping his mild tea. Mikasa put the canisters in front of him and easily his interests were transferred. “Hope she's good at cleaning.”

And with that, three became four.

Isabel Magnolia was a ray of well-needed sunlight in the dark and dampened world they had inhabited. She was as fiery as the locks of her hair, as spirited as her eyes. She was a competitor against the sunrises with its vivid reds and oranges that woke the world and that heated up their cold stone hearts.

Mikasa and Levi were protective to where they would cheerfully say they would kill for her. In fact when encountering bullies that had chopped her hair they had. It was a chore as Mikasa had beaten up her bullies and Levi disposed of them. No one had messed with her again, with her watchful protectors always an omnipresent.

She coined Mikasa and Levi as her brother and sister and they were uncertain with the titles but had later learned to accept it. Especially Mikasa, she practically glowed at the mention that wasn't missed on Levi. Isabel had tunneled her way into their life, a small bird her companion. The fragile thing had sprained its wing and they had nursed it back to health, everyday testing on its wings.

Eventually the bird had been let go and Mikasa found herself longing to be it as they sat among ancient rubble of their ancestors. The sunlight had been so inviting on that day, above the sinkhole that the outside existed. Closing her eyes she could picture it. Crawling into the light of day, the sun alighting onto them.

Days had become warmer and happier with the arrival of her.

She was the youngest and the one everyone crane their necks out for, the one that they pushed more food at, advocated for her to go to bed early and to shelter for. Among Farlan’s guitar and Isabel’s offkey singing, those dreaded nights became more enjoyable too.

It's how most nights and mornings went. 

Awoken to leap through the air on invisible wings as they floated through the rooftops and monuments. After supper, Mikasa would be sitting down having charades with Isabel as Farlan tuned his instrument and composed a song. Levi would be to himself in a corner, whittling at his knife and honing it with a coin. 

“Man you suck at this Mikasa!” Isabel took the deck of cards and let out a huff.

“She's great at gambling,” Farlan winced at the dissonance, strumming it. “Almost bankrupted me with her poker face.”

“Oh teach me Mikasa! Please!”

From where Mikasa was sitting, she could see the rooted corners of his mouth lift up. He had let smiles slip past him and there were sounds that too quiet for laughter but she couldn't deem in any other way, that Mikasa found...pleasant.

Not as weary or worn. Ever since the two others had come, it had improved his  
sleep pattern.

Mikasa could be content with her life, how it was. But she knew of their current goal, to the place above ground.

Whenever Mikasa missed the color that the trees were and would always be reminded from the eyes of Isabel.

The girl was innocence incarnate no matter how hardened she tried to be.

“Hey Sis, do you like Levi?” She had asked some day and despite her stoic facade, Mikasa felt a fanning of mortification above all emotions on her face. The imp of a girl had bellowed it with Levi in the room as Farlan held back his sneaking chuckles from the dead eye Mikasa speared him with. Levi had put down the machinery in bemusement, watching the two who were seated in the chairs. “Oh you're blushing I think you do!”

Feelings weren't something Mikasa was well versed in and she doubted Levi was either.

She shoved bread in her mouth and went back to her meal, feasting on soup as the girl tried to blabber around the loaf of dried up wheat. Farlan went over and chided the girl as Mikasa could still pinpoint Levi from her peripheral.

Nights like that one made it less of a challenge for Levi to sleep and for Mikasa to dream of a better world, a better future.

+

There was an occurrence where they weren't invincible. Levi had suffered the brute of it.

Mikasa never had forgiven herself from that. None of them really had.

It had been a weekend where their occupations didn't have them working and they could finally take a breather.

Mikasa had been handpicking from the buckets of yellowing apples and hastily squared slabs of meat while Isabel begged her for money to get sweets and candied fruits. Those extravagances were overpriced that could be comparable to alcohol that was also scarce to get. Levi didn't find alcohol as enticing as tea, the intoxication affected judgment he had told her after one of his hangovers, before puking.

Mikasa was making a checklist and budgeting their groceries. Levi had come along, aiding her request to get the best of the produce as he scope it out. No one else could cook as good as her and she had been stationed as the chef of the household. Her cooking had a aspect that Levi couldn't achieve and he was fine with that. Honestly, they all had taken to her cooking.

Levi took to tea, favoriting black tea and coffee to a second alternative. Farlan fancied ginger ale with brandy or rum while being very fond of oranges. Isabel lapped up apple cider and was jolly with all the dishes Mikasa made. She was voracious, eating out their cupboards past her bedtime that gave her bellyaches.

All of them were taking gratification in the day.

The scintillation of silver was missed on her.

A body slammed into her.

She couldn't turn with the proximity that was on her, but she saw that Levi was on her, eyes dilated, and Mikasa knew something had gone awry. His body encased hers, apples that went cluttering into the street, plonking into the mineraled cobblestones. The street vendor raged as Levi gasped, breathes sputtering.

Time seemed to be moving too slow and fast, in a paradox that Mikasa was victim to.

The assailant had vanished, but he could be in the fleeing bystanders that Mikasa would have tracked him down. But Levi was more important as she took him into her arms.

A deep red was runny across his dress shirt to her own as he coughed again, wetter on his exhale, blood on his lips. His heart was still at a rigid pulse and she held his life in her hands in a ironic turn.

Isabel had come from around the corner, bombarding her with too many questions in a flurry as she slung Levi on her back.

“Mikasa…” she shushed him as he had to conserve his energy. He was a tad big in width and he was heavier, but she managed to get him on her back. His weaker breathes moistened onto her nape and she shrugged him on more firmer.

The bullet had been avoidable.

If it had hit her then she wouldn't be alive. In spite of that, Levi still got in the way. He knew what he did and still did it. Mikasa was angered at him but mostly her, her feelings impaired.

No one stopped them as she powered up the stair steps, two at a time.

Within fleeting moments, she punted in the door with the flat of her boots. Surprised, Farlan who was lounging by the dinner table had banged his knees.

“Farlan get the kit!” The boy heeded her as he dashed into a room. “Isabel get the towels and the medicine in the cabinets!” The girl didn't need to be told twice. His beige overtones was a wallpapery mildew, his face ghastly as she stripped off his shirt. His gulps of air were wispy as she took the towels that Isabel gave her and laid it on the couch before putting Levi down, gently.

“Don't get—blood on the...furniture. Blood is too…hard to get out.” It was absurd and nearly comical at what he was saying and how he could calm her down like that. Yet his words were stilted and dissolved into moans and delayed breathing.

Even dancing between death and life, Levi would be making a fuss if she had made a mess of his couch even though it was his blood. Though she was at fault if she only had been more aware…

“Mikasa help me with this!”

“We have to get him to a doctor!”

Mikasa couldn't wallow in her self-pitying.

“No!” she shut them up with the one word as she rolled up her sleeves. “It's too far and we don't know who had shot him. Levi had taken the shot for me the dumbass…” the searing of tears were going to overfill her vision if she didn't concentrate. “We take the bullet out and we keep a low profile.” With that the discussion was done. They knew not to contend with Mikasa or Levi.

The kit Farlan had brought, she yanked open as she and him took care of keeping his heartbeat at a constant and unflunctuating rate, Isabel wringing her hands as she was a onlooker to the catastrophe unraveling. The bullet was by his heart, in the cavity.

In exceeding care, she removed it with pliers and tweezers as Farlan kept pressure on it to keep him from bleeding out even more.

“I need light!” Isabel took the artifact of the lantern by them, the firefly of the flame blooming up. Cotton swabs had bunched up onto the still humid blood.

A menagerie of medicines and an archaic wine bottle that they could never bring themselves to break out for celebration was by her, and she was dismayed that it had to be used up for this.

Mikasa and Levi—all of them them had spent a lot of time getting away from the grasps of morality, recovering from their physicalities. Many run ins that gave them puckered scars covert through their layers of clothing, expansive over their bodies.

The injury was aggravated and if she didn't hurry while it was exposed to bacteria it would supperate, as she would cleansed the entry hole with medicinal herbs and wine whilst jamming pills down his throat. Mikasa was no doctor but she had taken care of their injuries long enough. While it was uncouth, it would be gaining results either way.

“Isabel get him to take these.” The girl floundered, the wine bottle in her hand as she did what she was instructed to do.

The bullet was left in Farlans hand as Mikasa stitched him back up, fiddling with the loop that was slippery with red, too much of it. The blood on her hands had caked and crusted and she resisted the urge to rid herself of it. She didn't want to be covered in this, every time it happened she could see clearer of Levi’s perceptive of being so obsessed with sanitation.

“I know this. We used this type of bullet in my gang since they were high end, since we took from the brass themselves...” Farlan’s voice was uncertain and Mikasa looked up from her task before she bit off the thread from her needle. Mopping up the remains of congealing fluid she let out a all encompassing sigh, knowing that Levi had pulled through. Still it didn't keep her from worrying, as she dutifully monitored the exhalations and inhalations of his wheezes.

The man had been unconscious, a godsend for her as they had drowned him in medicine, wine, and Mikasa’s methodology of doctoring.

Often he mumbled his disgruntlement and his frowns would mar his face further to where it would be permanent. Mikasa paused in those lapses to make sense of what he would say. Mostly it was slurred nonsense.

Levi was immovable, stabilized for half an hour while Mikasa had collapsed in the dinner table. Isabel was burrowed into a sheet she had pirated from her room and was by Levi while Farlan was fidgeting, aghast from the bullet and that his gang could be behind the calamity.

Initiation into gangs wasn't as difficult as getting out of them. Getting out was a death sentence.

There were the barest traces of blood that had been expunged through it resided under her fingernails, dried up as she itched at them.

From the turmoil of the midday to twilight, she had a pain-inducing headache and curled in on herself. Then she forced herself to stand. The minutes of reprieve was gone. She couldn't allow another minute of weakness, not when people depended on her.

“You two stay here.” She took the bullet from him as Isabel had sat herself by Levi’s head. Farlan, she could tell he was going to object to her going alone but had stammered over his reasoning. Though he wasn't going to accompany her.

What made them different is that she had no ties with the people and that would make murdering them better on her subconsciousness.

“Sis will he be okay?” Mikasa examined the inscription on the bullet before pocketing it.

With a meager smile she patted Isabel’s head. “Yes.”

Regaining her composure, she walked to the closet where the gear was kept. Levi kept his personal life and occupancy separated although today would be an exception. Getting suited, she gave them a meaningful look that brought out the mother in her.

“I'm going hunting.” Her expression had subdued them fast. They'd never seen Mikasa so deadly before, it was mostly Levi that took up that part. “I'll be back soon. Tell Levi not to worry when he wakes up.” Even at their earnest protesting she walked out the door, down the porch steps. She couldn't be distracted.

Nighttime was when the rotten underbelly of the city arose. With the sins that were paraded, it would make Mikasa’s sins disguised.

As she leapt from roof top from rooftop she felt the tears misting over in her eyes. Rubbing tersely at them she knew that those men had to die. If Levi did take a turn for the worst than it'd be on their heads. And hers.

It took an hour or two to find people that would rat them out.

Apparently Farlan’s gang was pissed that he had chosen them and had teamed up with the three guys that had been chasing Isabel. It was a attack on all of them, and it had steeled her wavering, jumbled up apprehensions to cease.

All the while she worried for Levi. The man had basically taken her in and without him she would be so lost. Her reliance for him was almost laughable. Still...it wasn't something she faulted on. Having them reinforced her wishes, her will.

As she suspended herself on the ropes, she swung down to the shabby housing. Putting her ear to the door she could hear Farlan’s and Levi's name as they jeered on a drunken and cowards’ victory. She had been the link. Mikasa trembled, her blades pinging with each movement. They had knew that Levi would have taken the assault, it was a obvious ploy.

Mikasa was too angry to think, syllogism be damned.

Roundhousing into the doorway she saw that they had guns, in their holsters at their waists. She'd kill them before their hearts could get another beat in. Using her gear she used it to spear through two men's chest and impel herself.

A bullet went by her ear, her hair thrashing with the whiplash and she brought up her swords to deflect them as she charged forward. It had become bar brawl but for her it was sweet revenge. Lacquered furniture and alcohol was pitched at her that she evaded, those were the efforts of desolation, wills that were giving up themselves whether they knew it or not.

The aftermath was a wrecked bar, bullet holes in leaking bottles and the hodgepodge of bodies. The last survivor, she dropped the bullet onto his forehead. It went to the floor, rolling by his shoes.

Launching her sword by his heads she slanted her head down, her lips to his ears. “Pray I don't come for you. Tell everyone to never cross us or I'm coming for you next time.” There was a sound and something pooling on her boots. The man had urinated himself and Mikasa’s nose wrinkled before she struck him with the butt of the gear.

Decimating went by faster when she fueled by her madness, the emotions she had kept inside for so long. As long as she was alive she would keep what she held dear, close—safe to her.

+

Levi's eyelashes fluttered, a recognized throbbing going through him.

Another shot not quite on the mark, another day alive he had thought. After all it hadn't been for him. Raising his head she saw a dozing Isabel and Farlan. As he sat up, he saw that Mikasa was missing. His throat was astringe, chest already pained going into a panicked hammering. Did she get shot too? Had it gone through him and into her?

Where was Mikasa? With the pessimism going throughout him, he still held it together though he was in a daze.

If she was dead, Levi didn’t know what he would do. She was much more than a partner.

“Hey you two,” with snorts they roused themselves. Isabel had been scared even in her dreaming but seeing that Levi was up had calmed her.

“Levi-bro are you okay? I was so scared,” Isabel whimpered and Farlan knocked onto her head.

“Don't cry, you're gonna upset him.”

It wasn't that Levi saw crying as a weakness, he detested seeing people he cared for pained by things he couldn't fight off.

“Where's Mikasa?” The two had interrupted their own insistence, talking halted and Levi’s heart constricted this time.

“Is she dead?”

“What no! Mikasa-sis went out to punish those guys that hurt you!”

“Isabel, you let your big mouth run on,” Farlan rapped on top of her head, harder to make her push his hand off her. His heart was in its rightful position but still beating in a stressed rhythm.

“Why did you two let her go?” they shook under his voice. It was an angry silence that hung above them until the door was creaked open.

Mikasa was standing there, rapiers in sickly red and drenched in fluids. A mask on her face, one he hadn't seen since—he didn't know when. Levi either knew her for too long or that he was still foggy. Levi saw that the blood wasn't hers and was amazed again by her.

Seeing that Levi was up, propped up on his elbows her legs were sluggish, jelly-like. Mikasa threw off her equipment in a flash as she wobbled to him, her arms around him at once.

She was resilient, he wanted to commend her for doing everything for his sake but couldn't form it, couldn't get it out of his mouth.

Levi was taken back as she tugged him to her further.

This was the first time she had hugged her. Mostly they found reassurance through booze and silence. Skin contact was a novelty for them. Touching was bracketed by pain, not comfort. Mikasa found herself craving for more. Her fingers tightened onto him, fumbling for him.

The two other watched it in awe. Levi didn't really let anyone freely touch him, at least they didn't get away with it.

“You're tracking blood in and making a mess everywhere.” Though he had tracked blood in many times before. Levi was a bit of a contradictory figure.

That would be tumultuous to scrub the floors of and he wasn't going to do it.

It was a ulterior intention, he said it to let her know he was fine. Seeing how she shook so violently he put his hands to her shoulder. “You're not hurt?” Despite that all the blood wasn't hers, he couldn't be so sure.

“No...no,” she muttered between her lips as if saying it cut her open and then she brought her head up and Levi’s eyes widened. She was crying. Even when she was in excruciating agony she didn't sob out but here she was crying over him.

Mikasa hadn't cried since she was a child and it was uplifting. Levi however didn't think he was worth wasting tears over.

Nevertheless, he let her.

“Big Sis is crying…” Isabel said and Farlan was observing them all. This day was the oddest they'd had the possibility to behold.

“I'm okay Mikasa.” Levi didn't return her hug, moving too much had prevented him too with the bandages that Farlan had clipped onto him and made her look at him instead. Held her one hand to his, to tether her down, bring her back to sensibility. “Thanks to you guys.”

“Yeah...okay…” Mikasa slumped forward. Her hair tickled his skin as she rested her soaked face onto his neck. “Let me take the bullet next time.”

“No.” He said that and he meant it. He would die before her if he had any say in it.

“Godammit Levi.”

It wasn't angered but said as if dejected. She put her body to his where he was imposed to be laying down. She was so close to him that Levi could take in how honeyed the flowery soap he bought was, sensitivity at it.

“You need to rest.”

“It would be better if you'd get off…” he muttered as her closeness was making his irrationality come up. At that she got off and missed the regret in his eyes.

Instead she took one of the bedrooms blanket to the table and said she would be there if they needed her. Hid herself by the blankets that wounded around her and dozed off soon after, exhausted.

Levi wondered if he caused her pain from his bluntness and cursed at himself for his inability at eloquence.

Guilted, Levi did want her nearer to him, by him but saw that she was staying put. Besides it would be odd if he gave her an invitation for her to sleep with him with the two other occupants in the room. Farlan and Isabel were sleeping by him too, bundled in patchy and oversized quilts and Levi sighed, the last thing he saw was all three of them illuminated by a dimming oiled lantern.

In sleep he hoped they could find peace there and not be haunted like he was.

If he had to die for them to live on than he would die three times over for each and every one of them.

He knew that Mikasa shared the exact disposition he had which was what scares him about her. Mikasa was a selfless person that would do anything, give up anything—everything. She loved her family too much. Were they family? They were a misfit gaggle of thugs but…

Levi eyelids drooped and shut as he didn't think too much on it, as he tiptoed into sleep once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really long so sorry for any punctuation or mispellings. Basically a retelling is all

Mikasa’s yearnings for the world above had teemed like parasitic sprouts.

She had to go to the upper world and ever since Isabel had stumbled into her, into them, she had fortified their resolves. When seeing the girl soar through the restricted sky, carefree as if she was flying only made that determination stronger.

Her rambles of the world were so light and brimming with enthusiasm that made them all compelled, despite how repetitive they had become. It was always a new topic for Isabel, rejuvenated for it that had plagued them in return. They all longed for that freedom, ravenously as if they were wolves.

Then they had been caught. All great things would come to an end. That's how all stories went.

+

They pulled off heists and mugging in between clientage, not as intricate as most jobs but it was enough to keep their bellies filled and a roof over them. They had come back from another successful day and saw an elderly fellow awaiting them. Upon seeing them, he peered up from his handheld watch.

From isles of tunnels and architectures, they had walked as they conversated full of humdrum. It came to a premature end when seeing the man by their household.

Isabel had refrained from her prattling to Mikasa that had been listening, candid. “What’s the deal, old man? You want something?”

Mikasa gave her a admonishing glance and Isabel backed down obediently.

“I've come for a job request,” the man replied. From that Isabel lowered her arms, a glare scrunching between her eyes. Not as disarming as her older sister and brother as she seemed rather pouty with it. Levi was indifferent, absorbing what the old man was saying as Farlan smirked.

Although Farlan didn't have as much assertiveness, he demonstrated that he was the linguistics.

“Did you get the wrong house? This is not a handyman’s shop.” Mikasa nodded imperceptible as she didn't want to get involved a man that could be a grandfather. Against what people knew of them, they at least had standards.

“Go home,” Levi ushered out as Mikasa took her stance beside him. His eyes went to hers.

“We won't take it. Take your business elsewhere,” she voiced.

With that being said, they all strode past him and towards their home. All they desired for was to be at home. In likemind, they had to destress shortly before taking on their assignments.

“I've already paid the deposit though.”

Farlan was in disbelief. “You're kidding right? This is the first time we've seen you.”

The older man had turned. “That's true. But you should already know…” they all saw the carriage, it had been there since early afternoon. Juxtaposed from the refined amongst the filth of the buildings and paved avenues. “...about him.”

Men that were supposedly passed as business men lead a hobbling Jan to the carriage, exchanging conversation with them. Levi tensed and Mikasa looked to him, the trepidation of a danger surrounding them.

“Jan!”

“His leg is already at its limit.” The man exhorted out more as they all listened. “He needs to get treatment at a hospital on the surface...isn't that right, Levi-kun?”

Mikasa was prodded from her thinking by the severity of it. Blackmail towards them was one thing but to their acquaintances, it wasn't similar.

“What's the meaning of this?!” Farlan was getting enraged and Isabel was bewildered at what to do. Mikasa was worried and could tell that Levi was too.

“I told you, didn't I? It's a deposit for the job. You'll listen to the details, right?” Mikasa felt no remorse for the old man and was perturbed by his crass tactics. However she waited for Levi’s response before acting on her own.

In resignation he held his head up a bit. “Fine then.” They all had targets on their heads and it had hit bullseyes. The old man lead them up the winding stairwell, Mikasa and Levi taking the lead. His staring to her had signaled that they would discuss it later and to play on their terms. It wasn't the first time that they had communicated with leaving out words as Mikasa had come to adjust to Levi.

The sunbeams temporarily blinded them and the carriage was atop the stairs. As they stood in the disarray of steps, there was a exchange that had begun with the two elderly men.

“Are these the guys?”

“Yes, I've heard they're excellent.”

Levi frowned impossibly deeper though no one else could tell, other than Mikasa. She knew that he was getting fed up and didn't like it, the helplessness of it. She didn't either.

“Who the hell are you?”

“It's understandable that you're wary of me. But you'll learn it's okay to trust me.” There was a underlying falseness to his tone and Mikasa took a disliking to them and to their predicament.

“How could we?” always the presumptuous one Farlan had asked.

“The fact that I'm here says everything. I'm at a great risk just by being here. The man was behind a window curtain, ambiguous to where Mikasa could only go off his voice. It resounded, enriched by the independence above, fattening in the greasings of opulence. Have you received the deposit already?”

Finally, Levi’s equanimity disappeared. “I don't know how things work in top but in our world it's called taking a hostage.”

“It isn't as easy as up there,” Mikasa inputted.

They could be swindled, and where Jan could be tortured and instead have both of his legs shattered into smithereens.

Still though, they didn't have much to believe in them for. Charitability was to get them indebted to him, a pitiable excuse.

“That's just a contingency plan we laid in place. When you have successfully completed the job, you won't only be getting a huge sum of money…”

There was an ominous interval as the man emphasized himself. “But also, citizenship on the surface.” Everyone balked at that. Mikasa knew that unlike her, the others had been swept under the world in their whole livelihoods. She may have been a citizen but she truly didn't know now.

Yet that was in the past, far in her prelude of memories. It was a new chance they'd have to take.

+

It was well into midnight when she could tell Levi was still up. The crack between the door and floor was flooded with a wavering yellow, the sign of a restless and endured night. Treading from her room she saw his face immersed in a flashing of yellow, sights delving into the wick’s fire.

Unobtrusive, she took the seat beside him and studied his face, letting the absence wash over them. There were barely there darker creases that weighed under his eyes and he sighed, closing them as if an impending migraine was hindering him. Though Mikasa wouldn't dispute it with how often he stayed up.

“Shouldn't you be asleep?” His teacup is empty, the last droplets having been long consumed. The pot in the sink plinks with a noise, the leaky spigot dispensing a drops of water in their silence.

“I should be asking you that.” It had come off as incisive as she let out a exhale afterwards. “Sorry that came off rudely.”

He stares into his china cup, arms crossed his chest with hands folded underneath. “Aren't we all rude?” Maybe you should get some sleep.” He knew that she had headaches from stressing and she withheld her exasperations.

“Levi—” she took a hold of his hand.

Since the incident that had happened with the gun and Farlan’s old gang, they discovered themselves being closely connected by touch. Whether a slight touch on the shoulder to a bruising embrace, they both were privately wanting more. Mostly, their hands seemed the other out. It was how they had solace, hands covering the other.

It was clammy and chilled and she could feel her own body heat going to his. “Those people, what would they do if they caught us. They aren't at all like the police, they're trained to kill those monsters.” Mikasa locked onto his hand, shying from interlocking them together. What would they do to us?”

Levi put his head down but Mikasa could tell that his war was defeated. There were only casualties left to be dealt with. “I don't know Mikasa—I don't have the answer to that. I've spent time thinking about it and I've got nothing.” A pause. “I'm tired.”

“Then why are you up?”

“Can't sleep. Been thinking about it all day.”

Levi was endearing, he had progressed to admitting openly about himself, being more of himself with her. There weren't many secrets that was kept between them. His hand modifying beneath hers, linking their fingers together. It wasn't a romantic gesture that they had come to establish but he truly wanted it to be.

A connection between two similar people. Plain as that. If only their feelings weren't as complicated and compartmentalized.

His thumb nudged over her seaglass veins as he let out a massive sigh that deflated his lungs.

For a while they sat there until he pressed into her shoulder and she looked down. He had fallen asleep, his hand still in hers. Even the strongest had to fall to their weaknesses.

Dislodging her hand from his, she took in the way his inky hair curtained his face, combing back the flyaways with her fingers. His frowning would leave impressions of lines if he wasn't careful, as her fingers betrayed her, going everywhere. To the bridge of his nose and downturned lips, to mark up to the roadway of his jawline.

A concoction of mortification and a debatable affection stifled her. It made her draw her fingers back, fisting them into her lap.

Loving him was something he couldn't be bothered with. Romance in such a place, in a warring city wasn't needed, not for him or her. It would further complicate things. He had too many concerns and the one today was heaped on.

These feelings couldn't extend beyond love, could they? Though she didn't feel that way about Farlan what had made Levi so different? He was too short, had a temper when his tea ran out, and was very withdrawn. Mikasa was a hypocrite as she shook her head at herself, although she wasn't a big on the tea.

With that took him up and placed him onto the couch. It wasn't hard since he was shorter than she was, something that Isabel and Farlan teased him over behind his backs with her. Putting a blanket over him she wistfully smiled at him, remembering those times he had drunk too much or of sleep had gotten to him before he could reach his bed. His brow was furrowed as if perpetually stuck in a distasteful expression, as always.

“Goodnight Levi.” A exhale too faint to be a snore came from him as she retired to her bed. Tussling in her covers, she knew that tomorrow would be coming.

+

The morning was prickly, a consternation in Mikasa.

As they readied themselves, taking role over their automage gear and weapons Mikasa went to Levi. In his proximity that their shoulders bumped into another, she glanced at him. “You're sure this isn't a trick?” They couldn't pay to be swindled and Levi had aged a decade overnight over the ordeal.

“What other options do we have Mikasa? We can't spend all our lives underground. We’d live and die as street rats.” Before she could question him or provide him consolation on how he felt, Farlan announced that they were ready, their client standoffish.

Down the stairs they went as Farlan took up the back. Then to the back alleys was used for their discretion, as they took in the intel that Farlan had weeded out.

“We've got confirmation on Jan. He's in a first rate hospital.” There was relief in that as they marched downstairs. “The identity of the man is also confirmed. This job is the real thing.”

“We’re going to go through with it, aren't we Levi?” Mikasa’s delicate voice brought their attentive stares to her as she knew he was deep in thought. No answer. He turned a corner briskly as they shaded him.

“Bro—”

“Carry on as normal,” Levi said. “But if they appear just like he said they would...we’ll start the job.” Mikasa knew he was deadbolted on it as they leapt over a wall. Getting on the rooftops they oversaw the shipment that was being idly guarded.

“Just like last time and the time before.” With that they were off.

Projecting themselves off the rooftops and through the boxes sent them hurtling to the cobbled streets as their informant grabbed what he needed. There were curses that trailed behind them but they were too far to hear, rocketing through the passageways.

“Yahoo!” Isabel shouted in exuberance as they flew through the city.

“Levi they're here! The pursuers!” Levi and Mikasa took a glimpse over their shoulders but saw that the police had reinforcements.

“Heh.” Mikasa had a lift at the corners of lips at Levi’s confidence as they used the mechanics of propulsion.

Every time they went through the town, it was vitalizing on how they flew among clothesline and towers. To Mikasa, today was drenched in worriment.

“The Military Police again? Haven't learnt their lesson, have they?” She simpered at the police. “Hey, Levi-bro! What I just said was a cool line, right?”

“Are you an idiot?”

“At least Mikasa thinks it's cool,” Isabel knew that she would back her up. Mikasa was the cooler out of the two to her.

“Are you both idiots?”

“Shut up Levi.” Isabel snickered as Levi tsked. Levi looked at her with some ill content though she could tell that there was a playfulness he was showcasing.

Levi distracted the police and catapulted himself backwards as the green shrouded soldiers bypassed them.

“Those movements...they're not Military Police!” The man had spoken of another organization, something that was the real reason they had taken the job.

“Yeah... no mistake,” everyone focused on Levi. “It's them.”

“It's those damned Survey Corps,” Mikasa said as she raced ahead. From her impudence Levi caught up, a silent warning to not stray too far from him. She returned a glare but understood. As they were suspended in air, flying they were tailed by the four that wore the Wings of Freedom so proudly.

“Heh.” Farlan was getting influenced by Levi. Mikasa would have to reprimand the both of them. “As people who battle the Titans they're as different as expected.”

“You guys know right?”

“Of course!”

“It's the job right?”

Then the two went to the opposite directions as Mikasa stuck to him, the plan they had enacted taking action.

Levi had hurdled into a building, leaping out as Mikasa avoided the cities, one sole of her boot pushing her farther up in the air as she spinned higher above the ceilings and roofs of depilated houses. She had to stay by him if anything went wrong. Which it did.

A brute of a man had tackled Levi from the sky, overwhelming him in an instant. Engaging his opponent, his blade had cleaved through the steel and Mikasa realized that the metal wasn't as resilient as she had imaged. On the ground she saw Levi take to his knife, hand on the end of the weapon to drive it into his opponent’s vital organ as he drove himself forward. Which he would done if he hadn't been interrupted, another man crossing his path.

Mikasa jumped in, careening from the other man that made a grab at her, the hilt of her boot coming down on the sigil of freedom of the man that was battling with Levi. The hisses of his spine was a grim satisfaction to her although the man didn't bend back. Springing to her feet her knife twirling into her grasp. Freedom had come hunting for them.

The serrated edge of the rapier inched at Levi's flesh as Mikasa’s boots dug deeper in the earth as she held her own knife to the side of the man’s throat.

“Stop. Take a look around you two.”

They heard the oaths of Isabel who was trying to wriggle herself out and the subdued posture of Farlan. Quickly, they had been foiled and Mikasa’s dislikement to the Survey Corps was in a tenfold.

“Levi! Mikasa!” As simplistic as a call for their names, they knew they'd been caught. Mikasa had estimated that it was inevitable.

They let go of their weapons instantly, before Mikasa was walking over to Levi's side to check over him. Her eyes wove into him and he looked away, ashamed for getting them forthright straight into a trap.

“I'm fine,” he murmured and she was grateful. She was furious at the man, and wished she had kicked him harder in the back.

“You're quick at reading the situation.” It was a thinly veiled taunt and Levi’s gaze was as frightening as a perilous night at sea.

“And you, I'm sure I have to go get my back checked by a doctor,” he directed to Mikasa and she glowered back at him. She wanted to say good riddance but from how things were becoming she kept her mouth shut.

+

The shackles around her hands were non-fitting and she knew all she had to do was dislocate her thumbs to slip out. She could possibly take down all of them along with Levi. But she knew if she was alone she could and she couldn't risk the wellbeing of her family. They were kneeling, a spectacle to the people and Mikasa grimaced to herself, the braid of humiliation in her stomach.

“I'll ask a few questions.” It was a public interrogation, to be in front of the eavesdropping public.

He held up the stolen 3D maneuver gear. “Where did you get this?” They remained quiet, Levi’s head bowed.

He continued. “You guys are skilled with 3D Maneuver Gear. Who taught you all that.” The answer was painstakingly obvious.

From the silence the man took steps towards Levi. Mikasa felt the ire from Levi and the man was in deep trouble. Even being a captive, Levi was restraining himself.

“You're their leader right? Were you trained in the military?” Levi abstained but the man that had throttled him out of the air had took him by the head and forced his face in a puddle.

That had made Mikasa baffled before outrage took ahold of her. She laid herself on the side, flinging out her foot and caught the man in the jaw. The pointed end of the shoe had caught between bone and flesh and gave way under her. It's hinge buckled from it and he bellowed letting go of Levi.

“Mikasa!” Levi yelled as the man took her by her hair and drove her face in the foul-smelling rainwater that he had done the same for Levi. After that, he pulled her face up to plunged her into it again as she had gasped on the water. She sputtered out the sewage, as she hatefully stared at their detainers. Levi couldn't protect them here and she couldn't either.

Levi's was seething as he desperately wanted to get them out and disappear. Isabel and Farlan let themselves being heard but could do nothing more. A hand on the back of their heads forced them in the dirty water and Mikasa felt sorry for Levi knowing how much he primed himself in hygiene.

Erwin stared down at them. “I'll ask you one more time. Where did you learn to use 3D Maneuver Gear?”

“Not from anyone! We learned it ourselves,” Farlan chewed out, acidic.

“Self taught?” The man's eyes flicking to their smushed faces. “I don't buy it.”

“It's just so were be able to rise even a bit in this dirty garbage place! People who're used to sunlight like you guys won't understand!” Farlan had spewed out, and Mikasa could tell that he was letting out his frustration of it all. So why wasn't that bastard seeing it?

“That's enough! Let Bro and Sis go!” Isabel had blown up as well. “Don't act cocky just because you're soldiers!”

His eyes were penetrating and their heads were roughed up again. The stagnant dripped onto their hair and skated on their faces and clung to their necks. They were feral, only held back by their two other friends. Kneeling he peered between the two. He would be their tamer.

“My name is Erwin Smith. And yours?”

“Levi.” They all awaited her and she spoke too.

“Mikasa Ackerman.” That made everyone whip their heads at her and she felt very minuscule against them.

“Mikasa Ackerman?” The man eyes were indistinguishable on her and Mikasa shifted, wearied. “This gets better for me. I could forgive you for kicking my back out.”

“Why don't we make a deal?” Mikasa didn't like that they had been offered another deal.

“A deal?”

“I will let your crimes go unpunished. In return lend me your strength.” His eyes were genuine as they narrowed a fraction. “Join the Survey Corps.”

After all the worrying that Mikasa had done the night before hadn't seemed so crucial up to this moment.

“And if we refuse?” Mikasa could tell he wasn't referring to only him and her. They were all in this, whether if the commanding man liked it or not.

“You won't be treated very nicely. Choose whichever you prefer.” The man had the gall to grin to them.

There was some debating as Levi flicked his head to the side. Sewage water splattered on Mikasa though she didn't care. Regardless of his answer she would followed him like those many years ago.

“Fine. We’ll join the Survey Corps.”

+

They weren't too keen on it, the aimless promise they had made as they went up their staircase and into their home.

“Take what is essential.” The man informed as they weren't cuffed any longer. Farlan and Isabel darted to their rooms as Mikasa went over to Levi with a towel in hand.

The man had stool against the couch as she held up the fleecy towel. He didn't seem to notice her as she put herself by him.

“You're wet, you could catch a cold.” The place they lived was scantily warm even with the fireplace, sunless. His field of vision was affixed to Erwin who was uncovering everything with his vision as the soldiers had stayed outside.

Accepting the towel he dried his hair as Mikasa did the same.

“Apologies for the force from earlier.” Mikasa hadn't though he would have apologized and was confused to it.

“Thanks.” She said on the behalf of Levi knowing he wouldn't vocalize himself.

He took his eyes from him as the towel dangled in his hands. “Mikasa you should take some things. Get some spare clothing and that handkerchief from my drawer.”

“Okay Levi.” She gave a press of her fingers on his shoulder before stepping into her room. As she left them alone, Levi knew that pulling out his knife would be pointless with the others outside. Instead he went for the next best thing.

“What do you know about Mikasa?” He folds both of the towels and puts it onto the table top.

Erwin cocked his brow. “Ackermans are a byproduct of humanity's answer to the titans.”

Levi knew of the behemoths above that despite being under the world, he was glad that he was here at times.

“Does she have family?”

Erwin's eyebrows then both rose to a incredulous height. “Didn't she tell her yourself?” At that Levi busied himself into the cupboard for trying to dig up something on Mikasa, as it didn't sit too well with him.

“She has amnesia.”

“Interesting.”

“Are you going to tell me?” Levi smashed the canister to the counter and whirled around to the man.

“That's all I heard about it. I'm not lying.” Not holding his stare, Levi looked to the tea label, reading it. The defected faucet continued leaking, the globules collecting and undeviated.

Mikasa had went through her belongings. A box she had saved for later she put away before heading to Levi’s room. She'd never thought she could untidy his ordiness. In his closet, she took his clothing and put it along with her bag and went to his drawer. There was his handkerchief in its pristineness and she packaged it away as well.

When leaving his room, she went into the kitchen and living area. Isabel and Farlan were there, talking amongst themselves. She was excited at the prospect of going above and was bothering Farlan. There was some assurance to Mikasa that one of them was unaffected by the outcomes of today. Levi had kept his distance, as Isabel chattered away.

Afterwards they gave a sweeping look at their home before leaving, soberly reminiscing. They all took a glance back before striding forward.

The surface was an invasion.

It was overtly bright and Mikasa’s pupils were blinded at the contrast. The underworld paled in comparison, the world up here had so much sprightliness. Yet it was wintertime, despite the occasional sunshine.

Soon, they were out of their restraints but in a bigger predicament. Escorted into a room they were kept there for a while.

They were at a rustic structure, a castle as the superiors had squabble on what to do with them. Recruits had rumors already that reached their ears.

“I can't even enjoy the outside. This sucks!” Isabel sulked in a spare room they had been tossed in. They'd been confined for several days, three square meals divided for each of them. Mikasa and Levi’s cooking was better than the gruel that had been shoveled to them.

Mikasa unlatched a window, taking in the scenery as much as she could along with the freshened air that she breathed in. However when seeing that there were people in the courtyard she had slammed it shut, unhappy that they had to be kept up in a room.

Levi didn't bode well with how unclean the room was and tried to tidy it to the best of his abilities. The castle was old and perforated with moss and crackling foundation but it was a pleasurable change of sight from the garbage they had associated with their home.

Then there had been a knock at the door before it was opened. Erwin Smith proceeded into the room, uniforms in his arms. Mikasa and Levi were already eyeing him before he placed the clothing on the desk.

He was diplomatic, hands behind his back. “I expect you all to be up early in the morning. You'll hear the horn to wake up at and have five minutes to get prepared and dressed. Tardiness will not be reprimanded.”

When he left, Isabel and Farlan had pawed at the uniforms. The tan outerwear and the various leather straps were provided for them, with the verdant leaf cloaks. Isabel was an assortment of delight, as they waited for the next daylight to come.

+

Mikasa tightened her straps, fixing it in where it didn't seem to be looser. “The first day...I would be a liar if I said I wasn't nervous.”

Levi took time to admire her not at all caring if time ticked away. In the sunlight she was ephemeral, his emotions welling up as her hair cascaded down her shoulders to curl into her clothing. The straps were bundled to the tough muscle and the gentle arches of her body and he had to tear his stare from her, to stop gawking. He knew that his feelings extended well over friendship but he was sidelined by other things. This wasn't even the place to be thinking this but he couldn't help himself.

He couldn't ruin the years they spent together over it.

“Levi,” she went over to her bed and brought something out, wedged between the bedpost and ratty mattress. “This is for you.”

He turned it over in her hands as Mikasa peered away. For some reason her face felt warmed over.

“I know your birthday already passed and that we never really celebrate it but I think you'd like this.” Levi had told them once of his birthday, but to be fair he hadn’t been sober.

“Makes me feel old.” He stated as he took the bow off the present and he methodically picked it apart.

Presented to him was a cravat, the elegant ridges silky under his fingers. Taking it into his hands he glanced up, appreciation on his features.

“Mikasa…” he knew how much silk was worth and didn't know how she had gotten it.

“It's from all of us. Not just me.” Her eyes fastened onto it. “Put it on.”

He did. To Mikasa it gave a regalness that she hadn’t noted before as he turned to her. Made him stand out, make him look taller though she didn't think his shortness was such a awful thing as he had thought.

“Thank you.” She grinned and was going to say something until Isabel came in.

“What are you doing? We're going to be late!” Her eyesight zoomed in onto the fabric.

“Oh he's wearing it.” Farlan poked his head out from above Isabel, using her head as a armrest. “Mikasa and us spent hours looking for something suitable.”

“We wanted to get you something for all the birthdays you missed out on!” Isabel exclaimed. “Now hurry up!” With that Isabel went stomping down the halls with Farlan behind her.

“What fun,” Levi said with no eagerness whatsoever.

Mikasa spared him another smile as they walked out. She knew that Levi was touched by their endeavors from the feline tilt of his lips.

As they had made their way into the yard, rows of heads surveyed them. Pairs of eyes judged them, going off of biasness as they all stood in the front of the elite trainees.

“Attention, all!” The people stood straighter as the commander stood before them.

He harrumphed. “From today, these three will be fighting alongside you all!”

The man looked to the newcomers. They were a bunch that he knew had seen and experienced more than the majority that of the cadets. The scum of humanity that was now expected to defend humanity itself. It was quite pitiful.

“Introduce yourself!”

Levi had crossed his arms, his face stony. “The name is Levi.”

“Levi...The first thing you'll need is some goddamn discipline.”

Levi’s eyebrows pinched together but he said nothing. Levi wasn't one to follow rules but then again none of them were.

“Next!”

Isabel came in bouncing on the bottoms of her boots. “I’m Isabel Magnolia! Nice to meetcha!” The girl spilled with morning glory as her eyes sparkled.

“My name is… Farlan Church.” His cockiness was going into his voice. He gave a poor mimicry of the salute to the cause.

Mikasa glanced over to the side and heard a wolf-whistle. Levi's eyebrows pinched further together, stepping close to Mikasa.

A bushel of hydrangeas sprouted out of the greying foundation of the manor as the chief hollered at her. “Mikasa Ackerman.”

“Ackerman? I thought that they were all extinct! A splendid production of mankind to wipe out titans.”

A voice had said and the commander took a double take. All the soldiers saw her with awe inspiring righteousness and Levi stared at her wondering about her family once again as Mikasa began to contemplate about it.

“Hanji you'll go without a meal for three days for speaking out!”

“Aw!”

“Make that four!” As the bustle died out the man looked to one of the several squad leaders.

“Flagon, these three will be assigned to your squad. Look after them.” The man peered at the four new persons, all crossing their arms with identical levels of moods on their faces.

The redhead didn't scare him and the blonde guy he didn't care too much for. In fact he had wanted his own squad for a while.

But the shorter man and taller girl had a unknown quality to them that made him uneasy.

“M-My squad sir?”

“Are you dissatisfied?” The man squandered his options, before spotting the man beside him.

N-no, but shouldn't Erwin…”

“Erwin is tasked were soldiers’ formation.” The new recruits will be your responsibility. Is that understood?” His voice rang with finality.

“Yes sir!”

With that the commander rattled off protocol as they went to stand in the back in their leader’s row. Disembarking, they were lead to the cabins where the cadets had been assigned.

“These are the barracks.” Their leader had brought them to the part of the field where wooden cabins were located.

There were forests that were on the perimeter, for survival exercises. The cabins were yards from each other as they went into the interior of one.

“There are quite a few.” Farlan had slung his satchel over his shoulder.

The room wasn't spacious, as there were stacks of bunk beds that took up the majority of it. There was a window to the side that stuck out.

“Yay! We're all in the same room!” Isabel danced around the room taking it in.

“Woman have a separate section.”

“What? But I wanna stay here!” Inwardly Mikasa wished the same but it would be inappropriate for men and women as she had guessed.

“You two men will sleep here.” Levi put his hand on a board, rubbing his fingers at the dustiness that had come up from it. It was evident to everyone that he was very displeased.

“You lot have been living in the dumps of the underground, but do try to keep this place clean.” The man was goading them and it struck a mental chord at the insinuation as Levi reeled on him.

Huh?”

There was a heady craze in his eyes as he didn't need height to intimidate the taller. His eyes could pull him down, to have him begging on his knees. Mikasa knew, she had seen his torture tactics. Levi was mere seconds from pummeling him into the dirt and that would surely be insubordination.

“Wh-what's with that look? How dare you approach a superior officer with that attitude—”

“Levi.” Her softened voice had made him relent, sparing him a glance before it was dropped. The two others always marveled over how Mikasa had that effect on Levi as she brushed past him, her fingers pushing against his wrist in assuagement. She could feel his pulse from his chagrin and she smiled to herself. He'd have his chance to shine and prove him that they were above filth.

Training hadn't been as grueling as sieving under the earth. Mikasa could inhale fresh air and not seep in the aridness that the world they had lived in for so long imprinted on them.

Mikasa and Levi rose atop of the class, the most seasoned of soldiers. Despite that they were so-called thugs, there was an misplaced compromise between them and the recruits. Their ways were unorthodox, how they handled themselves and taught themselves to annihilate titans.

Mikasa couldn't compete with Levi’s dexterity but she was better at teamwork and communication than him. Frankly, she was a mite better at talking and people although she didn't show it. Levi was just a hardened person. Their favored activity was whenever they were paired off for combat.

The sargeants had kept a leash and collar on them as the recruits had stopped as they were still sparring.

Levi was out of reach as Mikasa went to shank him, into the ribcage as she rotated, the kinetic energy pushing her off. The wooden knife was a poorer mimicry of her old knife that had been confiscated, but it would serve its purpose. It skimmed his side as he dodged and countered with his arm.

His leg was coming up in his trademark kick that Mikasa had learned and she held back, chin nearly knocking into the hilt of his boot.

Everyone was chanting at them on as she smirked at him. “That time when I got your nose bloody, were you going easy on me?”

Parrying his weapon out of his hand she held him in a headlock before pushing him over her. Mikasa had overcome him many times before and so had he.

The match had went to hers as she got off him and held out her hand as he took it.

He gave a chuckle, that she could hear. “It took me by surprise that you would headbutt me despite that there was a knife to your throat. That would have killed you.”

“I'm not dead am I?” He let out a breath that was like a mirage of a laugh and hid his smile as they swapped partners.

Their hand-to-hand combat was legendary and Mikasa was reminded on the time that they had. They worked together mostly to better one another and soon they became an indisputable team.

“Look at them on their 3D gear,” a trainee whispered as they sailed through the sky.

“It's like they have wings.”

From Isabel fitting in well with the girls with her friendly and easygoing personality, she was almost jealous at that until she realized she was perfectly content with having only three friends. She knew that Farlan was getting along with the male cadets opposed to Levi.

Apparently from Farlan, he was approached for how close he was to Mikasa which would either end in a fight of him playing coy. Her family, wherever she would be they were home to her.

However she warned everyone to not hurt them, flashing the her twin blades as a precautionary measure.

+

Months went by, still cold as ever although the occasional warmness of the day blessed them.

All of them were in the stockade where the weapons were kept in. It was well after curfew had been called in and if they were caught by the higher-ups, they'd be put on chores for weeks. While waiting for Farlan to come back, Levi attempted to inhale back a yawn that caught Mikasa’s attention.

“Have you been sleeping Levi?” The message of nightmares was sifted behind it that only she and him knew, Levi drawl in on a breath.

“I’m alright.” Mikasa was not at all convinced. The lines that creased by his eyes had sunken in and Mikasa wanted to smooth them over but held her hand back. These feelings would get her nowhere.

Farlan had come back, resignation on his shoulders. “We won't find it no matter how many times we look. It's probably best to assume it isn't his room.”

“Then where could it be?” Isabel inputted.

“What do you do with something you really want to keep safe?” Farlan asked her.

“Inside my stomach band, of course.” Isabel joked as she flaunted it and Mikasa coughed over her chuckle.

Farlan clicked his tongue. “Now I don't know if Irwin wears a stomach band, but it's highly likely that he's carrying it with him.” He meditated over it. “And so I was thinking. We could use the expedition to our advantage.”

“Outside the walls Erwin and the others will be concentrated on the titans.” Throughout his speaking, Mikasa was feeling a sense of unease go through her and could tell Levi was in turmoil with the exact concernment.

“We just have to wait for an opportunity.”

“I see great idea!” Isabel praised.

“You okay with that Levi?” No would be the answer but nonetheless they waited for his confirmation.

He leaned off the wall, closing his eyes. “But I'll be going alone.”

“What?” Isabel erupted.

“You three, just think up any excuse and stay behind.” Levi was walking away and Mikasa didn't know how to calm him.

“Bro...why?”

“We haven't seen a real titan yet and it'll be our first time outside the walls”. It may take all we've got just to make it back alive.” He was so self-reliant to a fault. She knew that Levi wasn't invincible, he had his weaknesses. And his weakness were them. The others couldn't see that but she did because she related to him. He had to bear all of it, to put himself in the fray.

His eyes were transfixed into her and she could feel the ill-humor from him.

“But if I'm by myself I'll manage somehow.”

But—” Isabel started but Farlan held out his hand.

“So what you're saying is that we can't handle it right?”

“That's right. At least that's how I feel.”

Mikasa made herself known. “Levi I'm going with you.” She knew that he wouldn't like it but she was someone that could handle herself on her own. He knew it as much as she did. “But you two stay here.” She agreed with what he was doing but not how he was doing it. He couldn't go by himself, she wouldn't let him.

“How can you two say that? You won't know until we've at least tried.” Exasperated, Isabel threw out her hands in an exaggeration. “What's wrong? This isn't like you! You too Mikasa!” Isabel's words hurt her and could tell that it cut deep in Levi as well.

“If you won't stay behind and we're done talking!” Levi rarely made his voice louder than it needed to be and they were all surprise.

It held a foreboding tonality to it as he pushed past them. “We'll wait for a different opportunity.” With that he walked away, Mikasa hurrying after him

“Levi! Not you too Mikasa.”

“Wait bro!”

+

Nighttime was never compassionate to him.

It always brought things he thought he'd left behind him and those times were where he pondered on self-inflection. Footfalls echoed behind him as Mikasa had found him.

“You're supposed to be on my side,” Levi griped as the sat atop the castle wall. He kicked at a stone with the petulance of a kid. “What happened to being partners, Mikasa?” At his jab she scowled at him.

“I pick no sides and you know that.” He grunted when she said that. “And you're a idiot if you think I'm going to let you go by yourself. We're stronger in numbers Levi, and you know it. Please think.”

Levi was sighing so much these days she swore that he would develop a breathing illness. His eye bags were still there and Mikasa was childish to think that simply being somewhere different would have made them disappear. His sleeping hadn't improved after all. “I am thinking. Mikasa this is our first chance to be above the surface. What if they die—you die on the first mission I can't lose any of you.” He closed his eyes, a shaky breath on his lips.

He could feel the cork of his bottled up emotions coming back up again. This instance of weakness was more than he could afford as he couldn't push this on her. It would be unfair to her as they were to leave soon and her head would be too clouded.

“I know how you're feeling but you have to trust them. They can't be protected by us forever.” Her hand found his and she ran her fingers over his knuckles that had been bruised and battered from misuse. His calluses were weathered from his hardships and leaving binding bandages on for too long. Old injuries that had cut too deep and never had healed. Mikasa knew it all too well and it hurt her to know that he had so many she couldn't even see, could never understand. Instead she shared herself with him, her presence a balm.

They heard the encroaching footsteps and saw that the two that had come and discovered them. Mikasa went to bring her hand away but found that Levi wouldn't let go. When she stared at him he had been staring ahead. A rosiness sparked on her cheeks and she let him hold onto her. She wondered if he heard how hard her heart was pumping, valves delirious from the prolonged contact and her dizzying pulse.

“Let's talk about this. I can't agree with you guys going alone. It's still just as dangerous.” They both sat beside them, as they overlooked the land.

“You said that when we first step outside, I'll be all four of us at once. Have you forgotten?” Isabel was guilt-tripping them and Levi was depleted from discussion, letting go of her hand and slipping it onto his propped up leg.

The losing of warmth made Mikasa doleful she knew that he was folding in on himself to minimize what he was feeling. If only she could reduce for even a while, a small bit of that shared with her, she knew he would feel better of himself.

“It's the same. When you can't see the moon or stars the sky up here is just the same as the sky down there.”

“The color of the sky sure, but...” Farlan drifted off.

“But it's different. We know that there's no ceiling. It's completely different.” Rejuvenated with how brash and confident Isabel was being, although she was always like that Farlan smiled.

“That's right the sky is endless. It may be just as dark but it's far different from underground.”

“Look.” Their heads turned upwards, necks too small to support their heavy thoughts in their minds. For Mikasa and Levi at least.” From behind the clouds, the moon was revealed, patches of moonlight and blueness. The moon is so bright! Right? There's a difference, isn't there?”

“Yes. We're not underground.” Mikasa said, a wistfulness on her face.

“We'll never go back down there. She's right bro.” Mikasa flushed and she hadn't necessarily wanted to encourage her but the she went on. “The four of us always pulled through, right?”

“It'll be the same with the Titans. Let's do this.” Isabel had finished.

“Levi, believe in us.” Farlan added.

“Levi,” Mikasa began, and Levi looked to her. His throat closed up and his brain didn't want to cooperate. He'd never seen Mikasa in the moonlight. Bathed in the transparency of moonbeams, her eyes blackened, the crystalline depths were tempting for him to drown himself. He was enraptured with her that it infuriated him on how it had controlled him. Render him useless. “Please.” Those two words were all she had to say.

Taking his stare off her he smiled to himself, a sight that Mikasa had seen in a handful of times. It always went that way, her heart rampaging and her blood running hot to her heart.

“Alright. I'll believe in you.”

Isabel was thrilled. “Yay! Bro sure is stubborn ain't he?”

“He is.”

“Shut up you two.”

Beneath the starry skyline Mikasa felt content.

+

The bells were tolling.

The standpoint for the forecast didn't seem sunny, numerous cumulations glazing out the sun. Mikasa had a prediction that it would rain in the afternoon.

“Open the gate! Today we take another step forward!”

Erwin had went over the formation the day before, as they were by the rear. Levi in the front, Farlan and Isabel to the sides and Mikasa in the back. Reins in her hand, she pulled on them. The gate was inert, Wall Maria’s symbol like a beseeching divinity, transcendental.

“Show me the fruits of your training! Show them the strength of humanity!”

Everyone gave their a warcry, double blades and clenched fists upped into the air.

“We will be in the 23rd Expedition Beyond The Walls!”

“Forward, everyone!” Riding on their horses they passed through the entranceway, into the barren lands that no human could withstand. Hawks screeched as they flew above them and the sunrays peeked through the clouds, warming upon their skin.

“Wow!” Isabel said as she looked up, heavenward.

“Yeah. Not bad at all.” Levi agreed as Mikasa took in the picturesque atmosphere.

Their superior officer had rode up to them, berating the red haired girl and that her bravado would die out soon. Her words Mikasa felt more of a omen and then they saw it. A titan.

“One 15-meter class right ahead!”

“That's a... Titan?” Farlan asked dumbfounded. Mikasa had expected something scarier but to be honest they looked like abominations of human beings.

“Two 10-meter class Titans are heading toward us from behind!”

“They're too close for us to slip away. Prepare for combat. Equip your 3D gear!”

Mikasa took back her thoughts. The way it was moving coupled with its velocity that those monsters were coming at were astounding.

Off the still galloping horses, they obliterated the titan, a gaseous mist wafting off of it.

“Incredible!”

“Far more impressive than the Military Police!”

“That's because the military police were a bunch of drunkards.” Mikasa's eyes widened when seeing that the titan had followed them. “They're behind us!”

“Stay your course!” Their squad leader ordered them but Mikasa couldn't take that.

Off of the horse, Mikasa flung herself up in the air seeing that Levi had was already accelerating through air. Using an adjacent tree to rope herself over, she raced through the air to slice through the stringy tendons of one of the titan’s feet. It came down, aftershocks of its fall reverberating through her. Levi had shredded through one and Mikasa glimpsed up to see Farlan and Isabel simultaneously slicing through the necks. Mikasa had been anxious that they would be caught from the sky like flies and was reconciled to see that they weren't.

“All of the titans have been eliminated. Everyone regroup!” The commander had said as everyone raced to keep semblance of formation.

“How's that Levi! We took the titan down by ourselves!”

“We did it, Bro! We did it!” Mikasa knew that they ultimately wanted Levi’s approval from how he had been nights before.

“Give them some praise you grouch.” Mikasa elbowed him out of his dazness.

“Yeah...you guys did well.” Levi applauded.

“Indeed…” everyone looked toward the source of the speaker. “That was impressive, considering it was your first time.” Erwin had come by them, his horse neighing.

His eyebrows squashed together. “But you used up too much gas. You need to be especially conservative out here.”

Farlan was about to argue when Levi interrupted them. “You're expecting me to take priority if my equipment over the lives of my friends?”

Mikasa's heart swelled and she didn't think she couldn't love a man anymore than she already had. Levi was proving her very wrong.

“You're performing a lot of unnecessary movements.” Erwin was right about that. Levi did so many flips and rotations that Mikasa knew weren't needed. “Are you beginning to have doubts?” Levi was confounded, mouth agape.

“Levi he's right,” Mikasa’s voice silenced them as she stare down the elite. “These tanks are have some gas left as it is and we have to limit ourselves.” She could tell he was sulking but it wasn't the time or place.

“Listen to your friend,” Erwin regarded her a second too long before turning away. “If you are, that'll be the death of you very soon.” With that half threat, he left.

“Damn him! He'd better watch his back when he's alone!” Isabel growled out. “I hate how he treats Bro and Sis. Did you see how he was staring at her again?”

“Shh, he'll hear you.”

Mikasa was looking on Levi who was in a stupor. “It's alright Levi.” As simple as that the man returned, blinking at her. She gifted him a smile before it warped to a frown as she saw the overhang of billowing clouds. She went forward before glancing backwards to them. “Let's move before we get left behind.”

The pack of them rode on, foggy clouds parting on the ground.

“I didn't know rain could be this heavy!” Isabel said aloud.

“We won't be able to see any titans before it's too late!” What Farlan said made her engulfed in her rooted fear as she stared to Levi. The man's eyes were in a downcast, grey eyes holding in a downpour and then in an abruptness she knew what he was plotting.

“This is our chance. We’ll use this rain as cover and get close to Erwin.”

“Levi!”

“Are you gonna go for it, Bro?”

“Levi think about this. We can barely see we have to band together,” Mikasa said and could tell that Levi wasn't listening. He was onset on the bigger goal.

“If not now then when Mikasa? This is our chance for freedom.”

Freedom it was so close in their hands but Mikasa didn't want it this way. She knew something bad was about to happen. They should bid there time, wait it when they could actually see.

“It'll be suspicious if all four of us were to break away at once. I'll go alone.”

Mikasa wanted to bash his and her head in. He wasn't thinking with common sense. He wasn't putting them all in deliberation and was doing what he thought was deemable.

“True it's probably best not to carelessly move around.” Farlan was spying the area around him though the opacity of the location was smoggy.

“Which is why we need to stick together.” Mikasa said sternly, going through their spiel. “Levi you can't go by yourself—”

“Mikasa trust Levi-Bro he knows what he doing.” Mikasa’s words were falling on deaf ears, the words lacerating her throat. “Alright we're counting on you Bro. Go and secure our surface citizenship.”

“If anyone asks, tell them I went to Survey the terrain.” That was such a shit excuse, who could see in this weather.

The terrain was probably overrun with rainwater and titans there wasn't much more to that. There was an impending doom looming over them and Mikasa didn't know what to do.

But then he was gone.

Mikasa was livid turning her frustration towards the two remaining. “You two are always going along with his plans. When can you see that sometimes Levi is wrong and that he's not always invincible!” She scolded them and they shuddered under her voice.

“When will—”

“Mikasa above you!” Mikasa saw the foot that came down and she rolled off her horse. The earth pressed up against her and she felt her ankle jar at the impact.

Her horse was spooked and downed and she gritted her teeth. “Leave this to me!” Her ankle was hurting and she knew that she landed badly on it.

“No Sis! It's always you and Bro protecting us! So let us return the favor!” Isabel hopped off her horse, impelling herself in the rain.

The titans beady eyeballs were glued onto her and she was swept of course in the palm of its hand.

“No Isabel!” She screams, her maneuver gear ricocheting into the assailing rainstorm but she was smacked to the side when coming into contact with its other hand. Tumbling, her ribs crackled as she made contact to the ground. Her perception was distorted, the rainfall making her numb to the onslaught of afflictions.

“Mikasa! Isabel!” Farland put himself up and into the broil. Isabel's screams were so loud in her ears that it vibrated into her skull. Mikasa glanced up as she got to her feet, to see that Isabel was being torn into shreds.

The human body was a horrible masterpiece inside, innards and fluid-filled sacs making the compositions of it. Without the skeletal framework of the rib cage and bones they oozed out as Isabel screams were warbled into frothing noises. The giant swallows her whole, spitting out the head. It lolls in front of her, and tears that are still encrusted in her eyes.

Mikasa’s world was shattering apart. Fractures in her life that were threatening to break her being. Her heart was expanding and contracting widely too fast for her lungs to draw in oxygen.

“Cadet stay down!” Her squad leader had come too late to save Isabel. The man lasted less, bashed into to a pulpy mixture that had Mikasa hacking at her vomit.

Hot heat in her eyes she threw herself into the battle. She bite down her cries, her elongated weapons flourished out in the cry of death.

Isabel had met her predisposed travesty far too soon. She hadn't even tasted real freedom. She couldn't let that happen to Farlan who was still besting them. But the weather was treacherous, as she chopped down at the heels of the Titan and swung up to get its neck. Sheets of water were washing onto her, the visibility leaving her defenses downed.

Whipping the water from her face, she had saw that that she had only slowed it and that she had cut too high.

Swearing at herself, she saw that Farlan’s gear had become tangled and he couldn't unengage himself. One of his blades had went missing and he was bashing on the hand of it that had him by the waist. Mashing through its fingers she met it face to face before the rain swinged her as if she were on a string as she tried to regain control of it.

The titan backhanded her into a thatch of trees every pine needle more like injections into her skin prickling into her, more ribs bruised and a piercing pain coursed through her as she fell at the base of the tree. Overruling her body she had laid to the side her eyes eyeing the lush grass. It reminded her of Isabel’s eyes.

Unconsciousness put her to its mercy and she didn't have to worry about seeing the color anymore.

+

Where did the rest of Isabel go? Why was her head just there. That wasn't right. Where were Farlan’s legs? Where was Mikasa? Had she been swallowed whole?

All these open-ended questions were a slew through him. His dread had been confirmed his horrors come true from the tattered capes of the wings of soldiers to the backtracking footsteps of titans in the mud. He heard Mikasa’s voice in his mind, a ghost of a bitter memento. She had been right but he let his cockiness get the better of him.

He was such a dumbass.

As soon as the titan saw him, he was up higher in the air where he was sure he was above the storming clouds. Slicing down he didn't care if he expended gas he wanted it to suffer, if those things could even feel it. He'd kill it hand and tooth if he had to. Suffer for taking away the best damn things that happened to his sorry excuse of life.

He felt like he had been reverted to a child again, that there was nothing he could that would change this.

The lashings had blurred into one as Levi was a whirlwind, the rain not hindering him. He had rage making his decisions now, each deliberate strike was fueled by the burning furnace of the organ in his chest. The decapitation of the titan was a geyser of red rainfall. As he stood there, the rain did nothing to cleanse the increased sins that he had on his hands. Levi was absolutely dirty. He was detestable.

He stood there, Erwin was a overseer of his predisposed demise to the side until he heard a voice called out to him. A survivor from his plank. The rain had decreased to a patter, riveting against his clothing.

Levi’s heart caught in a hopeful twist, choking around his air flow. Mikasa’s body, he hadn't seen it unlike the others. She could already be in that monster but… the optimism of a chance made him turn rapid on his heel and run towards where everyone was crowding. Pushing his way through to the front, he saw her.

Mikasa, her long hair was distinguishing over her face and Levi choked on a sob. The rain on his face weren't his tears and he was thoroughly soaked in mud and titan’s blood that bathed his eyes.

Gathering her in his arms, he tugged back her hair in a damp clump. She was covered in pine needles and muck and blood on her temple, passed out—but she was still alive. Her lashes were so long, dripping with water, her pinkened lips parted. The blood in her hairline was worrying and she was so cold that he was afraid he had lost her as soon as he uncovered her.

Her heartbeat was paramount, a tattoo from where he gripped her hands. She was never the cold one it was always him. She was always warm, a radiator of flames and charred firewood.

“Mikasa—Mikasa open your eyes. Please!” He was reduced to begging in his knees but he didn't care. As long as she woke up he would take as much begging as possible.

Upon the shaking of his arms, her eyes slipped open a fraction and she rasped out, “Levi?”

“You're alright now I have you.” He cried freely and everyone was at a buffering  
lost. They'd never seen Levi cry and neither had Mikasa. He held onto her as he broke down, entirely in desolation. His sobbing were shivers down his body as he had his face over her. His tears was hot on her cheeks that had her blinking.

Her hand found its way to his cheek and he bumbled for it until he held it. She was cold as winter, as pale as a snowfall. “You're crying? The world must have ended, I really am dead..” she drowsily said and her eyes slanted to a shut.

“Mikasa? Mikasa, no not now—” Levi's eyes roved through the crowd of the cadets. “Someone fetch a aid kit. Bandages, anything—now!” They hurried off not able to withstand is wrath after facing titans as he carried her in his arms going to where the remainder of the squadron was grouped. “Don't die on me yet Mikasa. I won't accept this.”

He barked orders at them to save her or the titans would be the least of their problems. His eyes were still drying from tears and he pushed back at them as he watched them take care of Mikasa in the back of an supply cart. Levi didn't want her body in where those cream sheets and brown boots stuck out. She was not dead he he didn't want her near that.

All the while, Erwin watched them from a distance.

+

It was raining hard. Mikasa was sprinting through the rain, her gear at her side. The temperature had made her breath condense, her bones liquid and molten fire into her flesh.

“ISABEL! FARLAN!” She screamed, her vocals scratched raw. “LEVI!”

She was alone again.

Mikasa would have cried if she hadn't she heard the gigantic footsteps. Fear sliced through her that lended more to her compatriots. It was a inferno of despair she hadn't felt since she was a child, rendering her useless. As she ran she tripped over something. Turning over she inhaled in horror, a hand over her mouth.

There was Isabel, only her head present. Her forest eyes were stuck in a perpetual state of terror and would stay that way. Farlan she didn't know where he was, anatomical parts that were strewn about.

“Mikasa!” Levi was above her and helped her to her feet. Her chest unwrapped a package of emotions.

“Levi, you're alright,” she was about to cry just from that until she saw the beast. It's feet were the only thing she saw a hand coming down to grab her. Levi had pushed her out of the way and she remembered the gun, the incompetence she had felt.

“Levi!” She saw him, as he fought in fist of the titan brought up its other hand. “NO LEVI!” A blossoming of blood spurted from its hands, showering her in his entrails and she howled, Isabel eyes all-seeing.

“Mikasa!”

Mikasa awoke, a yell on her lips. The softer beams of sun highlighted the room as her eyes cleared. As she blinked she saw that she was in a cot, dysentery being a familiarity, a comfort and she saw the scared look on Levi. He had been holding onto her hand, pinpricks of his nails into her flesh that could leave scars if he held on harder.

“Levi…?”

“You're in the medical ward for two days. I was worried you'd never wake up from that concussion,” he admits.

“You were scaring me. You had a bad dream didn't you.” His hand left hers to feel at her forehead. No fever despite them all being soaked and she had been fretful in her sleeping. He wasn't blind to her nightmares.

“Levi...I had this...dream.” She was still woozy from the medication as she looked around the room, her head too heavy for her neck as she settled back into the cotton pillow. “Isabel and Farlan…” she took in Levi’s expression and the fear instilled in her. “Are they dead?” She knew the answer already though.

“Mikasa I'm sorry,” his eyes were misting over and she could tell she was crying, her face had been already wet when she woke up.

Sitting up, she wept and held onto Levi who held her, half-crouching on the linen sheets.

“If I had listened to you none of this would have happened…”

“No...if I had been stronger they'll still be alive,” she said through palpitating breaths and crumpling up his dress shirt. “Or if we just stayed behind like you said.”

“Stop it, none of this is your fault,” he held her face, cupped in his hands. “I'm entirely to blame.” Both of them were in a cycle of endless grief, hurting not from each other but themselves.

“Levi stop that,” she took her face out of his hands and rested her hands to his own as his inhales lengthened and became less irregular. He was calming down and he looked so much smaller than he was, against the cruel reality of it.

“If I lost you too I would have needed forgiven myself.” His croaked out and Mikasa was frightened by it.

“I'm here it's okay.” She reassured, her hands threading through his hair as his face buried in her neck.

Her heart was aching from how broken up Levi was and to how they lost part of their family—their friends. “We'll make it through it.”

Holding him to her there was a knock to the door before Erwin and his henchman came in with him. Levi stared out of her neck but hadn't removed himself from him. Mikasa didn't really care what they thought but held her closer to him as if she could shield him from the world. Possessively, as if they were to take him away too.

“So you two are the only survivors.” Erwin smiled. “How pathetic.”

Faster than she could gauge as her head was making her see afterimages, Levi had leapt across the room his fists up. However the bigger man had blocked him as Levi struggled with him. But he reached Erwin pushing him against the wall, hand at his shirt collar.

“I'm going to kill you that's why I'm here!” Levi wrenched out. As if knowing Erwin held out a packet of papers and threw it on the bedside table. Mikasa unfurled it, before she stamped it to the floor with her foot.

“These documents revealing Lobov’s crimes are a fake. The real ones have likely reached Daris Zackley by now.” Mikasa so badly wanted to rip him piece by piece apart like those titans.

Feel the pain that her friends had in their final moments.

“Lobov is finished.”

“You knew everything right from the start! You knew we were after you, and yet you—”

“You're a horrible bastard of a man Erwin Smith,” Mikasa spat as she stumbled out of bed. Even wounded and shrouded in white the stigma of purity, she still could be menacing. He was still impressed that she could get up.

Wincing, Levi had stood up to support her while she wobbled against the bed using it to recline against. “If it wasn't for you then our friends wouldn't have died. I could have stopped it, you could have stopped it! Their deaths wouldn't have been in vain!” Levi gritted his teeth as each of her sentences came more strained.

Mikasa didn't understand and he didn't either.

The man regarded them with lucid eyes. “If you begin to regret, you'll dull your future decisions and let others make choices for you. All that's left for you then is to die.” Mikasa held onto Levi's hand as she grabbed over his knuckles. He was trembling whether from sadness of anger she couldn't tell. It could be both.

“Nobody can foretell the outcome. Each decision you make holds meaning only by affecting your next decision.” The man concluded himself.

“We're going to continue the Expedition. I expect the both of you to come with me.”

“Not until Mikasa has recovered.” Levi brought up and the taller  man looked at the girl, her eyes as furious as the man beside her.

“Alright. Until then Levi. Mikasa Ackerman.” As easily as he had come he slipped out of the room. Levi's composure unravels rather swiftly and he fell away to the bed.

“I don't understand anymore.” He delved into himself.

Mikasa couldn't offer him comfort she didn't know how. So she saddled up against him, shoulder to shoulder as they relapsed in quietness.

She knew that she would have troubles in the nights now as he had. After a few minutes Levi picked up his head and glanced at her.

“Mikasa you should rest up. You have too many broken and bruised ribs, a swollen ankle and with that concussion you shouldn't even be awake. You're confined to the bed.” The medication was wearing off, as she agreed her hands held out.

Aiding her, he brought back the sparse covers as she got back into bed as he draws the covers to her chin. Suffocating, she pulled it down as he went to seat himself in the chair.

“Whose confining me to the bed? The doctor or you?” Mikasa said, but allowed Levi’s mother henning.

“Both. Now sleep.” Mikasa implored him, her eyes ashy.

Mikasa didn't want to intrude, show how weak she was but she didn't know any other way to ask.

“Please stay with me.”

Wordlessly she seeked out his hand and clung to it as if a lifeline. “Please don't leave me.”

Levi bowed his head down.

“I won't.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may update sooner of later. I'm a very slow writer

**Author's Note:**

> I will say it will take a while for the updates. I'm a college student so I'm always tired and experiencing art and writers block lolF. Anyway please, read, bookmark, comment, etc it does help. I also revise the hell out of chapters +300 words and I'm still not satisfied haha


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